It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
