i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
