So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
