My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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