the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
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I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
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Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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