Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
