why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
