the condom got lost in my hair
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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