so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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