I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
No subtext here. People are naked.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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