i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
nutella sex= disaster
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
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Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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