how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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