I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
