I would go down on you faster than GM stock
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
