Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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