When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Let's get the cat blown out
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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