I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.