they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.