And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
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After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
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You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....