the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match