I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
