zippers are such a cool invention
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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