i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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