I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Randomize
