my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
