Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.