??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
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