IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
bring money and cleavage
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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