It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize