Texts From Last Night

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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Have you finally orgasmed yet?

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  (630): Have you finally orgasmed yet? http://tfl.nu/pxlw
  Replies (4) Good night (895) Bad night (1464)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  am i morally bankrupt?

  (970): View more from Colorado

  no. its just the recession

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  (303): am i morally bankrupt? (970): no. its just the recession http://tfl.nu/r26w
  Replies (5) Good night (2847) Bad night (727)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.

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  (908): im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me. http://tfl.nu/x53m
  Replies (6) Good night (641) Bad night (2470)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?

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  (512): So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!? http://tfl.nu/rmce
  Replies (31) Good night (3125) Bad night (1454)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower

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  (508): Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower http://tfl.nu/74dl
  Replies (21) Good night (9545) Bad night (735)
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  (925): View more from California

  so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious

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  (925): so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious http://tfl.nu/hqe9
  Replies (16) Good night (4745) Bad night (740)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.

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  (630): my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise. http://tfl.nu/s84e
  Replies (7) Good night (6831) Bad night (730)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.

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  (732): I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN. http://tfl.nu/e3sn
  Replies (18) Good night (7520) Bad night (1090)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.

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  (908): He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca. http://tfl.nu/7ojr
  Replies (6) Good night (3583) Bad night (1220)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?

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  (508): its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right? http://tfl.nu/koz9
  Replies (6) Good night (2026) Bad night (688)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?

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  (631): I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend? http://tfl.nu/hi71
  Replies (3) Good night (1315) Bad night (751)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?

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  (910): Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days? http://tfl.nu/vw91
  Replies (3) Good night (488) Bad night (586)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it

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  (832): Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it http://tfl.nu/qafe
  Replies (2) Good night (713) Bad night (359)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.

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  (706): He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much. http://tfl.nu/1scq
  Replies (1) Good night (436) Bad night (759)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then

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  (925): Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then http://tfl.nu/ta2x
  Replies (1) Good night (579) Bad night (254)

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