Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
