i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize