He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize