her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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