So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
