VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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