Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
