I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
