Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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