What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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