Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
