Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
