Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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