I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
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I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
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I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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