i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
