I'm eating all of the evidence.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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