so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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