i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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