she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'm both gender and math confused
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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