Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
