I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
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Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
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They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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