after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
