I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Randomize
