I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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