idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just threw up on my dentist
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Randomize
