I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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