Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
i think i just lost a toe
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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