Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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