she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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