I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Its about making memories worth repressing
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
