Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
