You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
