Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
