If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
