you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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