the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
