Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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