So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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